THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT
PRIVATE RYAN
by William C. Martell
This summer's box office has been filled with surprises, from "the little
blockbuster that could" (DEEP IMPACT) to big budget event films that underperformed
(GODZILLA, ARMAGEDDON) and quality films that failed while shoddy flicks soared
(OUT OF SIGHT/DR. DOLITTLE). But nothing has been as surprising as the two
sleepers currently in theaters which are doing more business than anyone might have
guessed. Last week THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT MARY jumped up the box office
chart from #4 to #3, while SAVING PRIVATE RYAN held on to the #1 spot despite
competition from four new films... not to mention its nearly 3 hour running time. When
the Los Angeles Times printed a list of this summer's success stories, both RYAN and
MARY were at the top of the money makers. But these two summer sleepers have
more in common than good word of mouth and packed theaters...
In this world of PG-13 movies, where every studio aims it's films at 'that kid
audience', both MARY and RYAN are rated R. In fact, both films had to fight for their
R ratings, and refused to make cuts which would make them more "kid friendly". Both
films are extremely graphic, have been criticized for taking the cinema to new gross-
out territory. RYAN's violence has been called "shockingly graphic", and the exact
same phrase was used in a review of MARY to describe the sick humor. Both films
use broad, strong images to tell their stories. Each film got "two thumbs up" from the
Ebersisk Monster.
Why have both of these films struck a chord with bored summer audiences?
My theory: they are the exact same story, explored in different genres.
(SPOILER WARNING! IF YOU HAVE NOT SEEN SAVING PRIVATE RYAN AND
THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT MARY, READ NO FURTHER!)
THE MISSION IS THE BABE
In both films a man is given a mission to travel behind enemy lines, find a lost
blond haired character and bring him/her back. This quest is the center of both
stories, and propels the action forward in each film. In SAVING PRIVATE RYAN,
General Marshall (Harve Presnell) gives orders for Captain Miller (Tom Hanks) to
travel deep into Nazi occupied France to find Private Ryan (Matt Damon) and bring
him back. In SOMETHING ABOUT MARY, Ted (Ben Stiller) hires private eye Pat
Healy (Matt Dillon) to travel to Florida to find Mary (Cameron Diaz) and report back.
Both films begin in one time period, then change to another time period for the
bulk of the story. SAVING PRIVATE RYAN begins present day, then flashes back to
D-Day. SOMETHING ABOUT MARY begins in 1985 when Ted and Mary were in high
school, then flashes forward to the present day for the rest of the story.
Mary and Ryan: The only difference is an N instead of an M. All of the other
letters are the same.
Each film begins with a frighteningly graphic sequence, which has prompted
some audience members to walk out of the theater, sick to their stomach. The lead
character in each film shows his strength by remaining relatively calm. SAVING
PRIVATE RYAN starts with a chaotic sequence of blood, mud, vomit and death
showing the D-Day landing at Omaha Beach. Body parts are blown off, blood and
gore is everywhere. With screams all around him, Captain Miller remains quiet.
Frightened, but in control of himself. Trying to navigate a brutal situation.
SOMETHING ABOUT MARY starts with the most frightening zipper accident ever
recorded on film. Body parts are caught in zipper teeth. While everyone around him
reacts with screams, Ted remains quiet. Frightened, but in control of himself.
Suggesting that he untuck his shirt to hide his painful situation. Both films had me
covering my eyes in horror.
Severed body parts: In SAVING PRIVATE RYAN a soldier retrieves his severed
arm. In SOMETHING ABOUT MARY a hitch hiker has a gunny sack of severed body
parts.
Franks & Beans: What the soldiers in SAVING PRIVATE RYAN eat, and what
Ted gets caught in his zipper in SOMETHING ABOUT MARY.
In both stories, the mission becomes increasingly perilous, with many
casualties, but they stick with it. In SAVING PRIVATE RYAN Miller and his team
cross mine fields, are shot at by snipers, Private Caparzo (Vin Diesel) and Medic
Wade (Giovanni Ribisi) are killed... but Miller and the team continue, long after their
mission has stopped making sense. In SOMETHING ABOUT MARY Healy runs a
gauntlet of dangerous dogs, frightening room mates with saggy breasts (Lin Shayne),
violent brothers (W.Earl Brown), and manages to get his teeth capped in a most
unappealing way... But Healy continues to pursue Mary, even though this mission has
never made much sense.
Both have portly sidekicks who keep them going even when thing look bleak,
and they begin to fear they may not come out of this mission alive. In SAVING
PRIVATE RYAN, Miller depends on Sergeant Horvath (Tom Sizemore) to offer moral
and emotional support. When Miller breaks down, it's Horvarth who talks him out of
his funk and gets him back on track. In SOMETHING ABOUT MARY, Healy depends
on Sully (Jeffrey Tambor) to offer immoral support and a cheap place to crash . When
Healy is discovered as a fraud, it's Sully who talks to him on the cell phone (which is
overheard by Mary and Magda) and gets him back on track with his quest.
Sgt. Hovarth is surrounded by "dog faces", Sully is surrounded by dog feces.
Rescuing the little ones: In SAVING PRIVATE RYAN, Private Caparzo tries to
save the life of a little French girl, only to find the situation spinning perilously out of
control. In SOMETHING ABOUT MARY, Healy tries to save Magda's dog after
feeding it too many tranquilizers, only to find the situation spinning perilously out of
control.
At the midpoint of each film, the mission is questioned, and orders are
purposely disobeyed for selfish reasons. In SAVING PRIVATE RYAN Private Reiben
(Ed "not kooky" Burns) comes close to inciting a mutiny. Why risk eight lives for one
man? Aren't they at war to kill enemy soldiers? When the team comes across a
German machine gun nest protecting a radar installation, Miller decides to attack,
even though it is possible to sneak around the enemy emplacement. They purposely
disobey their orders to find Ryan so they can selfishly feel the rush of victory. In
SOMETHING ABOUT MARY Healy returns to Rhode Island to tell Ted that Mary is a
250 pound mother of four who has just left for Japan to become a mail order bride.
He purposely disobeys his orders to tell Ted that he has found Mary, so he can
selfishly feel the rush of infatuation.
The "something" factor: Though they begin their missions with apathy, in both
stories when they find the blond haired character, they fall in love with him/her, and
completely disobey their orders to bring him/her back. Miller and his team in SAVING
PRIVATE RYAN don't care about Ryan, until they meet him. They instantly like him.
When Ryan refuses to go back, because he owes his allegiance to his squad, Miller's
team decides to disobey their orders, stick around, and help Ryan protect a bridge...
even though they KNOW they may be sacrificing their lives for Ryan s dream. Pat
Healy in SOMETHING ABOUT MARY doesn't care about Mary, calling her a 'stalker
case', until he sees her undressing in the window. He instantly falls in love with her.
When Mary tells Healy that she owes her allegiance to her brother (W. Earl Brown),
Healy tries to court her, helping out with her brother... even though he KNOWS his
isn't worthy of her affection.
By the end of each story, a frightened character gains strength and proves
himself to be an enemy of the mission. In SAVING PRIVATE RYAN they let the
frightened German soldier known as "Steamboat Willie" live, and he returns as part of
the German army sent to take the bridge. In SOMETHING ABOUT MARY her
crippled friend Tucker (Lee Evans) throws his crutches away and returns as part of the
"stalker club" who wants to take Mary away from Ted.
In SAVING PRIVATE RYAN, Upham the translator (Jeremy Davies) becomes
paralyzed with fear on the battle field, leading Miller and the rest of the team into
harm's way. In SOMETHING ABOUT MARY, Ted's best friend Dom (Chris Elliott)
becomes paralyzed with hives the closer he gets to Mary, creating a situation which
leads Ted into harm's way.
Last, but not least... Sticky Socks: In SAVING PRIVATE RYAN the team
makes "sticky bombs" by putting grenades in socks and dipping them in grease. In
SOMETHING ABOUT MARY there's that hair gel scene.
The same story, told two different ways... both films are sleeper hits. Freaky,
isn't it? There really is SOMETHING ABOUT PRIVATE RYAN.
...FADE OUT
MY BLOG!
SCRIPT SECRETS STORE - time to monkey around!
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