JESUS CHRIST: VAMPIRE HUNTER
Canada - 85 minutes - 16mm
Screenplay: Ian Driscol
Director: Lee Gordon Demarbre
Starring: Phil Caracas, Murielle Varhelyi, Maria Moulton, Ian Driscol, Josh Grace.
MIDNIGHT SHOWThis film was everything you want from a midnight show! Saw it with the DON'T ASK, DON'T TELL gang and we howled! The filmmakers flew in from Canada, and gave away posters and asked trivia questions for music CDs. Then the movie started...
The lesbian section of Ottawa, Canada - empty! Someone has been putting the bite on all of the lesbians in town - turning them into vampires. Creating a serious lesbo shortage! The church tries to stop the vampires but fails... so they call in the big gun: Jesus Christ. A pair of priests (one with a spiked mohawk haircut and a motorcycle helmet specially made with a mohawk slot) zoom out to the beach where Christ is baptizing people (it's that retired gunfighter scene from westerns). Christ tells them his vampire hunting days are over, he's retired. But they convince him to come back and do battle with the queen of the vampires and the evil doctor who helps her.
Even though Christ is a kung fu fighter who puts Jackie Chan to shame (GREAT Hong Kong style fight scenes) he needs help... so he goes to the "Saint Of The Wrestling Ring" - Santos, the Mexican Wrestler! The two kick vampire butt, sing musical numbers, and do anything the filmmakers thought might be funny (usually they were right). Christ has conversations with his Dad, there's a funny jazz bar scene, a huge junkyard fight, the Pope on hold, every character has a funny name, there's a woman with a MASSIVE butt (special effect make up) that people can't help but pinch (including Christ), and all kinds of other silly stuff.
The film was shot on 16mm, dubbed, looks crude at times, but delivers with the laughs. Christ gets pierced so that he can go undercover! The women are really hot, too - especially Mary Magnum - the church's assassin (for those whose sins reach a point where they just can't be forgiven any longer). She kept me awake for the entire film! Because this is basically just a bunch of guys with a camera movie, you'll never see it at the multiplex - so you might have to look for it in the back pages of Psychotronic Video Magazine or at some college midnight show. Well worth hunting for - it made me laugh so much it hurt! One of the highlights of the festival for me.
FADE OUT
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