THURSDAY'S SCRIPT TIP:
THE CHARACTER OF ACTION
I frequently point out that an Action Scene needs to be a Story Scene and a Character Scene or it’s crap and needs to be flushed. Every scene in your story needs to be moving that story forward and exploring character or it is wasting time and money. I have also pointed out that the last time the MPA released their average film cost numbers (over a decade ago) that average film cost $107 million by the time it hit your cinema screen. That’s about a million dollars a minute, so you need to pack each minute with as much information as possible so that it can “earn its keep”.
An action film *needs* action scenes (that’s the part of the film people see in the trailers that makes them buy a ticket); and a horror film needs horror scenes, a comedy film needs comedy scenes, a thriller film needs suspense scenes, a romance films needs those kissing scenes, etc. So we need amazing original action scenes... but those scenes still need to be part of *this story* and not some generic shoot out or car chase or fight scene or whatever. Those minutes of action (etc) need to be exciting but also give us character information and move the story forward.
But what if your story has no dialogue and is told only using the actions of the characters?
Then all of that action is responsible for advancing the story and giving us character information. If we are telling our story visually, those visuals need to be doing all of the things that dialogue would do in addition to all of the things that the actions should do. As Howard the Duck would say, “That’s quite a responsibility!”
SILENT NIGHT (2023) written by Robert Archer Lynn and directed by the great John Woo (now on Peacock) was Woo’s return to American film after 20 years. Shot in Mexico City, the film’s “gimmick” is that there isn’t any dialogue - the protagonist, Brian Godlock (there’s a name) has been shot in the throat in the opening sequence where his young son is killed in the cross fire of a gang war on Christmas Eve. His wife leaves him and he decides to get bloody revenge the following year on the anniversary of his son’s murder. So it’s a bit like PUNISHER fan fiction, with the “no dialogue” making it different.
EVERY PICTURE
TELLS A STORY
But the "no dialogue" thing sometimes doesn't work, because it needed more visual storytelling at the script stage. Instead of knowing that the visuals would need to carry the story and character information and just about everything else, it’s as if they just crossed off all of the dialogue... and much of the necessary information never makes it to the screen. The visual scenes don’t seem to take into account the character and emotions and the information we need to understand the story. This is why writing “They Fight” in your script and expecting the fight choreographer to fill in the rest doesn’t work - you might get the fight, but that fight won’t contain the story and character information we need. Those parts are writin’, not just fightin’. The fight ends up being “action porn” instead of an important scene in the story.
This film does steal a symbol from ROAD WARRIOR (and M), but it needed more of those symbols and more *visual information* because we can’t get that information through dialogue. There isn’t any. This is true no matter the genre - screenwriting is *visual storytelling*.
There’s a great passage of time montage to show that year after his son is murdered, his wife leaves him, and he’s now alone in the house with the memories of his past happy life... and he takes up bodybuilding and learns about weaponry. But after that, when we get to the Christmas Eve Revenge Plot?
1) Our hero Brian has a wall with pictures of all of the people involved in his son's death... from the street thugs to the head of the drug cartel... Except the pictures are all given equal positions on the bulletin board. It’s just a bunch of pictures and they are all equal - it's Kill Them All.
When we have a bunch of people to kill, we need to think about it in terms of levels of responsibility and levels of escalating danger, like levels of difficulty in a game. We need to SEE a “map of the journey” with the destination being the head of the cartel. In a caper or heist movie we get the plan up front... so that when things go wrong we understand how bad it is when they dropped that wrench on the floor.
We need to SEE this journey not just on the "murder board" on his wall, but in the story itself.
2) We need a visual way to differentiate these levels when it comes to the people on them. Because we don't have dialogue in this film, more story needs to be told visually - and *dressing* each level differently and/or giving each a specific "look" will help the audience "chart the progress" of his revenge. It can also tell the story if someone from an upper level is present, survives, and we now fear they have alerted that higher level.
You need to make each level not only more and more dangerous, but distinctive visually. We want to give them an identity. In my recent article for Script Magazine “A Hundred Henchmen” I look at “WARRIORS Theory”, where you know each gang by how they look and the weapons they use. Even though these are all members of the same gang, think about how each level dresses for that level. The street level drug dealers aren’t going to look like the Cartel Lieutenants. The problem is that from the bottom to the top all of these bad guys look like generic bad guys.
3) We also want to make each level more dangerous, and that's weapons and size. Hey, your gang's drug pushers are going to have small and easy to conceal weapons, and aren't going to have big prison gym muscles.
It's also fun to give each level a different kind of weapon, so our hero needs different skills (that he might not have). We see our hero training with knives - so why not have one level be knife experts? Why not have them *start* with what our hero has learned, then reach a level where they bring out the weapons our hero doesn't know?
When our hero Brain gets to the Villain's Lair (an abandoned multi-storey building), we still need levels of baddies. Different looks for each so that we can SEE him climbing through the ranks. There are going to be the guards outside the building, the guards on the first floor - and then every floor will have better guards and when we get to the Cartel King’s floor - those are the villain's hand picked bodyguards. The ones that he trusts his life to. So, again we have levels and again we need visual distinctions for each level.
ACTION IS STORY
But each of these levels needs to escalate in danger and bring our hero closer to the top, and closer to the actual people who killed his son. Whether you have dialogue or not, it's still a movie and a story that's told visually. So along with different looks for the characters at each level, we need more dangerous weapons, and...<./p>
Different Types Of Action Scenes. This gets into location and what weapons are being used and all kinds of other story related things. The JOHN WICK movies are great when it comes to creating completely different action scenes. Location can be an important element - and different locations are going to create different kinds of action scenes. If your story is wall to wall action, we need a variety of completely different kinds of action!
SILENT's best version of this is the stairway shoot out and fight scene. There's a great moment where a character falls instead of being shot. But the layout of an old building's staircase lends itself to a specific kind of action scene. So think about the LOCATION of the scene as a way to make it unique. If you have a dozen (or more) action scenes in your story, each needs to be completely different than the others. Location, character, weapon, goal, and other factors will make each a new experience for the audience.
Unfortunately, most of the movie seems like generic shoot outs and generic fight scenes in generic locations. Think about what makes each of your action scenes different - is this a shoot out between cars in a round about or a shoot out in a hall of mirrors or a shoot out at a kid's birthday party or something completely different that we have never seen before? What is the *personality* of this action scene? What makes this "level" the thing that everyone will be talking about online tomorrow?
COMPLICATIONS ENSUE
Just like every other scene in your story, an action scene needs a Complication.
Not just other people shooting at our protagonist, in a weird way if the goal is killing people the complication needs to be the opposite of that. He needs to kill everyone in this room - except that specific guy who needs to give a voice command to open the door to the next level... Or give him the information that he needs, or maybe it's a clue or object which could be lost or destroyed in the action scene? If the protagonist can just shoot everyone, it’s a dull scene. There needs to be that complication in every scene.
This is where Act 2 of SILENT NIGHT *completing* the research into who killed his son is a problem. We have no mystery, no twists to reveal. And no *need* for new information that can only be learned as we kill our way to the top. Without anything to be learned (clues, information, etc) we remove a great source of complications for our actions scenes. In a story like this, we need complications in the action scenes to keep them from being just a bunch of shooting and stabbing and car chases.
The closest we got was the cop in the cross fire scene, and that didn't work very well... And should have been our lead cop instead of a cannon fodder cop.
Which brings us to the best kind of complications...
STORY & EMOTIONS
So, we don't have a shoot out at a kid's birthday party, but that would have been awesome, since he's getting revenge for the murder of his son. There's a moment with a kid who reminds him of his son - but not in an action scene. Since his son was killed in a gang war cross fire, it only makes sense to have a similar scene - like my birthday party idea, or a school, or just kids playing on the street during a scene with our Hero shooting at gang members. Think about Castor Troy's *son* in FACE/OFF and Archer's murdered son.
But also, the Cartel King has a girlfriend who is on our hero's "Kill Them All" board, and what if she was part of his Act 2 research/training - and he followed her, she spotted him and he pretended he was attracted to her, and she turned him down (showed him a tattoo with initials in a heart to keep it silent) then... Kissed him! And walked away. Now we have a scene that makes him think about his ex-wife (and maybe then we go to the scene were he spies on the ex). But what we have set up is an emotional complication for when he reaches that top level. Again, FACE/OFF does a better version of this.
Always be looking for the story and emotional elements in your action scenes. How can we make sure that this scene is critical to the story - that there has been a change in the direction of the story within the scene. New information or a big emotional moment that makes the protagonist reconsider their goal. We need to keep the viewer emotionally involved in the story. We understand the revenge for his son’s murder, but that’s the first scenes. What are the emotions that connect the audience to *this scene*?
THE KILLS
If the story is our protagonist killing a whole bunch of people? You need different, exciting, and cool ways to kill people. There were two kills in this film that were great - but a hundred other kills that were... boring. Bang, you’re dead. Just as we need to make the shoot outs interesting, emotionally involving, and original with those complications, we need the deaths themselves to be something the audience hasn’t seen before. When you have a hundred deaths? What makes this one different and memorable?
The Motorcycle Guy meeting the light pole? Great!
The Big Henchman and the empty gun... Slapping in the magazine? Great!
But most of the other kills just lacked imagination. Bang, they are dead.
Action Scenes also need distinctive and "fun" kills - those characters that we have grown to hate need deaths that give them their "just desserts", that are also just desserts for the audience. This is another place that we can use irony as part of the story - if a henchman has a particular character trait (also something missing in this film) how can you use that against them in order to kill them?
But even if you don't use their character trait against them - what is the most spectacular way for them to die? The most interesting and unusual and entertaining way for them to die? Think of Hans in DIE HARD hanging on to her expensive watch ... then falling from that top floor with all of the bonds he was trying to steal... Like snow falling on Christmas Eve! Awesome! That's how we want the villain and all of the important henchman to die - cool deaths - but we also want to see if we can make at least one of the lower henchmen's deaths in every scene something cool and imaginative and their "just desserts".
Look, as disturbing as this might be - we go to action movies to gleefully get revenge on all of the people who have wronged us. Symbolically. Our asshole boss, that crabby customer, etc. We have this repressed anger from day to day life, and now we get to imagine ourselves a character who deals with their problems. With knives and gunfire and explosions. So we want those evil people on screen to die in satisfying ways. Not just "bang, you're dead", but something that "serves them right" - serves them what they have been dishing out, gives them a taste of their own medicine.
There are a million ways we have found to talk about revenge! All of them are a bit gleeful. That's what we want those deaths to be. When the Motorcycle Guy who just won't let go encounters the lamp pole with his head? When the Big Henchman knows that the gun is out of ammo and useless, so he will win this fight... and the hero slaps in a new magazine and fires? These things are *moments*. You want as many great moments in your script as possible.
They aren't going to all be action moments - there's a great scene in the film where our Hero sees a kid who looks just like his son and hugs him... only to have the kid's mom pull the kid away from the weirdo and possible pervert. That was great! More things like that, but as *part of the story* and part of the action - not a side scene, but in the main scenes!
Your Screenplay Checklist:
1)1) What is the STORY PURPOSE of this scene?
2) What is the new information in this action scene?
3) How does this scene show character (often through a decision)?
4) Come up with 5 complications for this scene... pick the best and use it!
5) What makes every one of the henchmen different and distinctive?
6) What is the most interesting “kill” for this character?
7) How is every action scene unique and exciting?
When you take away dialogue, that puts more focus on the actions of the characters. More focus on the action itself. Those action scenes need to show character and emotions and advance the story in a way so that you could not remove them... without harming the story. John Woo’s Hong Kong films do a great job of all of these things.
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*** RESEARCH & WORLD BUILDING BUILDING! ***
Using movie examples like TOP GUN, HUNT FOR RED OCTOBER, BLUE CRUSH, ADVENTURE LAND, several of my produced films,
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All About LOGLINES, TREATMENTS, and PITCHING!
*** LOGLINES, TREATMENTS, and PITCHING! ***
You have written a brilliant 110 page screenplay, but how do you get anyone to read it? You need to distill
it down into some form of verbal moonshine or story rocket fuel that will ignite that bored development executive
or manager or agent and get them to request your screenplay. But how do you shrink those 110 pages into a 25
word logline or a 2 minute elevator pitch or a one page synopsis or a short paragraph? This 100,000 word book
shows you how! Everything you need to know! From common logline mistakes (and how to solve them) to how
your pitch can reveal story problems to the 4 types of pitches!
ONLY $4.99! - Kindle version.
READY TO BREAK IN?
*** BREAKING IN BLUE BOOK ***
Should really be called the BUSINESS BLUE BOOK because it covers almost everything you will need to
know for your screenwriting career: from thinking like a producer and learning to speak their language,
to query letters and finding a manager or agent, to making connections (at home and in Hollywood) and
networking, to the different kinds of meetings you are will have at Studios, to the difference between
a producer and a studio, to landing an assignment at that meeting and what is required of you when you
are working under contract, to contracts and options and lawyers and... when to run from a deal!
Information you can use *now* to move your career forward! It's all here in the Biggest Blue Book yet!
Only $4.99 - Kindle version.
HITCHCOCK FOR WRITERS!
Strange Structures!
*** HITCHCOCK: EXPERIMENTS IN TERROR! ***
Contained Thrillers like "Buried"? Serial Protagonists like "Place Beyond The Pines"? Multiple Connecting Stories like "Pulp Fiction"? Same Story Multiple Times like "Run, Lola, Run"?
HITCHCOCK DID IT FIRST!
This book focuses on 18 of Hitchcock's 52 films with wild cinema and story experiments which paved the way for modern films. Almost one hundred different experiments that you may think are recent cinema or story inventions... but some date back to Hitchcock's *silent* films! We'll examine these experiments and how they work. Great for film makers, screenwriters, film fans, producers and directors.
Only $5.99 - Kindle Version
LEARN SUSPENSE FROM THE MASTER!
*** HITCHCOCK: MASTERING SUSPENSE ***
Alfred Hitchcock, who directed 52 movies, was known as the *Master Of Suspense*; but what exactly is suspense and how can *we* master it? How does suspense work? How can *we* create “Hitchcockian” suspense scenes in our screenplays, novels, stories and films?
This book uses seventeen of Hitchcock’s films to show the difference between suspense and surprise, how to use “focus objects” to create suspense, the 20 iconic suspense scenes and situations, how plot twists work, using secrets for suspense, how to use Dread (the cousin of suspense) in horror stories, and dozens of other amazing storytelling lessons. From classics like “Strangers On A Train” and “The Birds” and “Vertigo” and “To Catch A Thief” to older films from the British period like “The 39 Steps” and “The Man Who Knew Too Much” to his hits from the silent era like “The Lodger” (about Jack The Ripper), we’ll look at all of the techniques to create suspense!
Only $5.99 - Kindle Version
FICTION
Featuring Shelly Steele !
*** THE SHOTGUN APPROACH ***
A Pop Star is murdered on the VIP floor of a luxury hotel by a shotgun blast to the face... completely ruining an original piece of art
on the wall behind him. Violent SFPD Homicide Inspector Shelly Steele must find the murderer... without killing anyone in the process.
That won't be easy! A locked room, A handful of clues. A chase and shootout on the hotel's fire stairs.
Who is the killer? His ex-Partner? His ex-Wife? His ex-Record Label Owner?
THE SHOTGUN APPROACH 105 pgs!
ONLY $.99 - Kindle Version
Featuring Smart & Final !
*** A FINE UPSTANDING CITIZEN ***
25 years ago Senator Milano killed a man. Now he's one of a dozen suspects in an information leak.
Being interrogated in the executive boardroom on the 30th floor of an office building...
The informant will not be leaving by the elevator. Can he solve the crime before they discover his secret?
Fnd the rat before the trap springs on him?
A FINE UPSTANDING CITIZEN (CRIME TIME THRILLER) 86 pgs!
ONLY $.99 - Kindle Version
Crime Time Thriller !
*** FOLLOWED HOME ***
Bowden knew the best place to find a victim is somewhere they feel safe. Diane Taylor would be his next victim...
It began with a car jacking at an upscale grocery store, but fresh out of prison Bowden decided to take everything -
forcing Diane to drive him her her luxury home. Trapped in her SUV with a violent man, can she find a way to turn the tables on him and survive?
FOLLOWED HOME (CRIME TIME THRILLER)
ONLY $.99 - Kindle Version
Featuring Smart & Final !
*** PRIME RATE ***
Chuck Skinner brought his father's failing butcher shop back into the black with the help of modern day cattle rustlers. Nice story if it ends there...
But now the head of the MaryAnn Mob of cattle rustlers suspects him of cooking his books, and has brought in an "accountant"
nicknamed Smart & Final... to hold him accountable. Can Chuck talk his way out of this?
PRIME RATE (CRIME TIME THRILLER)
ONLY $.99 - Kindle Version
MITCH ROBERTSON MYSTERIES
Mitch Robertson #1
*** THROUGH THE RINGER ***
Screenwriter Mitch Robertson just wants to sell a script, but ends up solving the mystery of a whiz kid writer whose new script stinks.
From an upscale vodka bar in Beverly Hills to the Writer's Guild Library to an old mansion in the woodsy Brentwood district, Mitch follows
the clues to uncover the secret of the hot new writer who has suddenly turned cold.
THROUGH THE RINGER
ONLY $.99 - Kindle Version
Mitch Robertson #2
*** THE FAMILY'S JEWEL ***
"The Presidential Suite of the Hollywood Hoover Hotel looked like a bloody battlefield: bodies everywhere, furniture broken, red liquid dripping from the walls, dead soldiers littering the elegant Berber rug as clouds of smoke overhead bounced between two air conditioning vents.
Mitch Robertson stepped over the body of an ex-child star turned sex tape star turned pop star and entered the room, spotted a gun on the floor and picked it up... careful not to spill his coffee with three pumps of mocha syrup from Penny’s Coffee Shop. That coffee was gold, the only thing keeping him going in this dazed state of wakefulness. The gun felt light. Holding it, he saw the silhouette of an 80s action star sitting sideways on a tipped over chair. Motionless. Was he dead? Mitch was still hung over from the Awards Party the night before, and wondered whether this was all some sort of crazy nightmare that he would wake up from... but when he tripped over the brown legs of a bottomless Superhero, flaccid junk encased in a condom but still wearing his mask, and hit the edge of the sofa, gun skittering and coffee spilling, he realized that it was all very real. What the hell had happened here?"
Short Novel. Only 99 cents! - Kindle Version
Mitch Robertson #3
***
THE UNHAPPY MEDIUM ***
When Warren Moultie, the "Psychic To The Stars", private files, with dirt on everyone in Hollywood, are stolen, Mitch must find them and the
thief before the blackmail begins! But when studios and movie stars and pop music stars and TV stars begin receiving demands for millions
typed by an ancient typewriter on cheap paper, the entire Entertainment Industry is depending on him. Who stole the files? The Psychic? His wife?
His mistress? One of his famous clients?
Novella. Only 99 cents! - Kindle Version
Use your creative energy to focus on the content; let Final Draft take care of the style. Final Draft is the number-one selling application specifically designed for writing movie scripts, television episodics and stage plays. Its ease-of-use and time-saving features have attracted writers for almost two decades positioning Final Draft as the Professional Screenwriters Choice. Final Draft power users include Academy, Emmy and BAFTA award winning writers like Oliver Stone, Tom Hanks, Alan Ball, J.J. Abrams, James Cameron and more.
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