THURSDAY'S SCRIPT TIP:
CREATING A DIVERSION
Summer is here - time for Hollywood to break out the sequels!
We kicked off the season with TERMINATOR 4, then ICE AGE 3, then TRANSFORMERS 2, then many other films with large numbers behind the title... like the HARRY POTTER movie (is that #6?).
But you won't see PLANET OF THE APES 2... I wonder why?
Though the last version of PLANET OF THE
APES had a twist end that isn't effective because it's tacked on
rather than organic, the film did have a workable twist in the
middle... which the writers blew so badly even the guy behind the
counter at my local Starbucks saw it coming from a mile away - they telegraphed it!
Plot twists work by diversion.
Like a magician who shows you that there s nothing up his
sleeve while he palms a quarter with the other hand, the key to a
good plot twist is to make the audience look in the wrong
direction. In THE SIXTH SENSE we are so focused on that kid who
sees dead people that we don't notice Bruce Willis' character has
a quirk or two. When he talks to his wife, she acts like he isn't
there! He doesn't seem to ever change clothes. He doesn't seem to
connect or communicate with anyone except that kid who sees dead
people. If you watch THE SIXTH SENSE and concentrate on Bruce
Willis' character, the twist end is pretty obvious... but the
story uses the kid as a diversion so you never see it coming.
The twist in the middle of PLANET OF THE APES failed because
there was no diversion. They mention a potential diversion, but
they never really use it.
The first mistake they make is to telegraph the twist to come
by telling us right up front that Marky Mark went through a jump
forward in time when he crashes on the planet. My Starbucks movie
critic mentioned this as the dead giveaway that spoiled the twist
for him. Though you have to play fair with the audience, the
first version established that you can hold the time-change twist
until the end. But even if they left the time-jump information in
the beginning of the film they could have made it work by
creating a strong enough diversion to draw the audience s
attention away from the twist.
The second big giveaway is when Marky Mark is using a homing
device to find his space ship which has landed on the planet...
at the exact same spot where the ape version of the Garden Of
Eden took place. Hmm, think there might be a connection? The
Starbucks Barista caught it right away.
The problem is that the Garden Of Eden thing is a big obvious
clue, rather than a conflict that might divert our attention from
the connection between the two events.
To make it work, first we must "keep the space ship alive".
The time-jump clue has gotta go, and that homing device has to be
much more sophisticated - it has to be a radio. Marky Mark is
getting garbled messages from the ship - must be these darned
canyons! He can hear words and phrases in the static, which is
frustrating. He attempts to communicate with the ship but can t
tell how much of his message is getting through.
Next - the ship has landed in The Forbidden Zone. Ruins of the
most ancient ape civilization can be found there. Due to the
importance of the ruins only archaeologists and scientists are
allowed in the Forbidden Zone... Marky Mark thinks this might be
the reason why they landed the ship there: it s unpopulated.
Now for the conflict - The Forbidden Zone is heavily guarded.
It s like Area 51! There s a fence, a patrolled area, and a
nearby military encampment. This keeps Apes and humans alike from
entering the Forbidden Zone. An obstacle between Marky Mark and
his friends on the ship. Why should the humans and these rogue
apes risk there lives against a whole battalion of ape soldiers?
How can they possibly get past the soldiers?
Now we escalate the conflict - the Forbidden Zone is The Holy
Land. The Apes that are traveling with them argue with Marky Mark
about going there. Now that we have created the diversion, it s
safe to bring up that this is the cradle of ape civilization. In
fact, I d have the apes traveling with them concerned that Marky
Mark s pals in the spaceship may have landed on sacred grounds
and disturbed the ruins. Imagine landing a 747 in Jerusalem.
Marky Mark tells them that his pals would need a flat area to
land the ship - they wouldn't land on top of the ruins. But he
has his doubts and keeps trying to radio the ship... still
getting a garbled response. Those same meaningless words and
phrases coming through the static. Now they begin to sound like
part of a warning... has the ship been surrounded by the ape
army? Is Marky Mark leading them into a trap?
In the film there s a big battle with the ape army AFTER the
reach the ship, but the longer you hold a twist the more
powerful it becomes, so I d fight the ape army BEFORE they reach
the ship. That makes the battle part of the diversion. Remember
that conflict is the best for of diversion because it involves
the audience. We re too busy wondering how our hero will
escape/survive to notice the connection between the Forbidden
Zone and the ship - plus we've been given a logical theory as to
why the ship would be in the Forbidden Zone in the first place.
The big battle also makes getting to the ship more important -
I d have the ape army send a warning back to ape headquarters
that they have entered the Forbidden Zone (using those cool
trumpet/horns from the original film).
Now we have our team racing to the safety of the ship with the
ape army right behind them. The apes among them afraid of the
sacrilege of disturbing the ruins in the Forbidden Zone. Conflict
from with-out and with-in! When Marky Mark finally gets to the
area where the ship s signal is coming from, it s too near the
sacred ruins for the apes. Even the humans are afraid. Marky Mark
uncovers the twist on his own: the sacred ruins ARE the ship!
That garbled message is the crew s last radio transmission - a
distress call that has been repeated every hour for hundreds of
years! It s a "black box" signal!
Guess what, gang? That limp middle twist could have been the
big twist at the end! It had the potential - if executed
correctly - to be the equal of the Statue Of Liberty from the
original film. All they needed to do was build up the DIVERSION
so that Starbucks Baristas wouldn't be able to guess it right
away.
The key to a good plot twist is to make sure you have a diversion!
MY BLOG!
SCRIPT SECRETS STORE - time to monkey around!
Hope in the next TRANSFORMERS movie they get rid of the robots entirely and focus on the cool military hardware?
Can't wait to see G.I. JOES: RISE OF THE COBRA this Friday?
Feel ripped off that FUNNY PEOPLE wasn't as good as FUNNY GIRL?
Be heard:
Movie Discussion!
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