FRIDAY'S SCRIPT TIP:

DISPASSIONATE?

"Mother died today. Or, maybe, yesterday; I can't be sure. The telegram from the home says: YOUR MOTHER PASSED AWAY. FUNERAL TOMORROW. DEEP SYMPATHY. Which leaves the matter doubtful; it could have been yesterday."

For many of us, that opening paragraph from Camus' THE STRANGER influenced our writing and world-view. After years of melodrama, the existentialists like Camus and Sartre experimented with fiction by removing passion entirely - creating a contrast between the anarchy of the world around us and the cocoon of our thoughts. As the world becomes more crowded, the existentialists provided a way for us to be alone - individuals among the blur of humanity. I found Camus through James M. Cain - Camus was a fan of Cain, and any fan of Cain was a writer I wanted to read.

In THE STRANGER the protagonist is more concerned with the day the telegram was sent than his mother's death... or maybe that's his defense mechanism. If you look at the world intellectually instead of emotionally, nothing can hurt you. Later, when he's accused of murder, his lack of passion works against him.

A world insulated from pain because it removes passion is very attractive to writers. Most of us had crappy childhoods, broken hearts; we are the outsiders of society looking in. If we can just remain aloof - above the pain - we can survive. If we can give up caring, we can no longer be hurt. As attractive as existentialism may be to us as outsiders, it's not the best choice if you plan on writing for a mass media like film. Even those of us who love Camus go to the movies for SAFE emotional experiences. When the lights go down, we WANT to live the sort of passionate lives that we may be afraid of outside the mass-dream of movies. Existentialism and film usually don't mix.

We can make a list of great films directed by the Coen Brothers, but one film that might not be on it is THE MAN WHO WASN'T THERE. Wait... never heard of it? Have to look it up online? Hey, it's the film they made right after O BROTHER WHERE ARE THOU? Should have been a big hit, right? Should be on my DVD shelf, right? Scarlett Johansson stars in it... what happened?

Well THE MAN WHO WASN'T THERE is a somnambulistic paced story of a barber whose wife is having an affair with her boss. It's James M. Cain territory, right down to the name of the store where the wife works (Nerdlinger's - the name of the wife in DOUBLE INDEMNITY... and there's a character named Diedrickson, the name of the wife in the movie... this whole film is an homage!). As in DOUBLE INDEMNITY the protagonist commits a murder, falls in love with a girl young enough to be his daughter, and is eventually convicted of a crime he didn't commit... but would have to admit to a real murder in order to prove he was innocent. Both end with a gas chamber scene. Wow! This sounds like a great movie, except for that slow pacing part.... And the subdued emotions. This is a Film Noir homage that is a little cold around the heart.

Billy Bob plays the barber with cool detachment - the murder seems like the actions of somebody else witnessed by the barber. Even the Barber's love for his friend's daughter is played without passion - piano lessons and classical music are okay, oral sex is just too personal. The voice over - another element from DOUBLE INDEMNITY - is a monotone comment on what happens. The Barber is looking at his own life from the outside...

Which is a problem with some of the Coen Brother's movies: someof them are *removed* - they don't create an emotional doorway for the audience, so we end us seeing the films as dispassionate observers (instead of being involved in the story). Their movies are sometimes a little cold around the heart. Aloof. Distant. RAISING ARIZONA is a great goofy outlier, I think that's because the events are so big that we need the cool narration as an anchor to reality. The same is true with BLOOD SIMPLE, though we bounce from Ray's point of view to Abby's point of view... then lose both when they are murdered by Creighton (same character name as the murder victim in MAN WHO WASN'T THERE). If the story is wild - an emotional rollercoaster of events that are larger than life - you may want to take an outsider's dispassionate point of view to create balance. But when the story itself is low-key like in MAN WHO WASN'T THERE you bleed all of the passion from the story and end up with a film that's interesting and quirky but not involving. The audience watches the movie, but doesn't FEEL anything.

But wait, this is Film Noir, are we supposed to feel something?

THE MAZE OF FILM NOIR

Sure. Why not? The protagonist may seem unemotional in DOUBLE INDEMNITY, but the story is all about his passions and desires. The thing that fuels that story is his lust for Phyllis and his fears that his only future is to take over Keyes job at the insurance company when Keyes retires - they talk about this early in the film. Neff can't sell insurance forever, but he can work behind a desk for the company like Keyes does. That's one of the motivators for the scheme to kill Phyllis' husband... that and his passion for Phyllis. He did it for money and a woman, but he doesn't get the money and he doesn't get the woman. So Neff may seem low-key and unemotional - but the whole danged story and every scene is *packed* with emotions. Love, betrayal, regret... anger. And add to that the center of the film - Neff's relationship with Keyes, his mentor. That is the greatest heterosexual man-love story on film. The scenes with Keyes are Neff's chances to show his emotional side and the end with Keyes lighting his cigarette (the way Neff has been lighting Keyes' cigars throughout the film) is a big moment. This relationship is what gives the film heart, and allows us to care about Neff. We *understand* his character and we want him to succeed and get away with murder... even though that goal doesn't make him "likeable". The film isn't aloof and distant, it takes you inside the story and makes *the audience* feel. There's a difference betrween *repressed* emotions and having no emotions at all.

If your story itself is filled with big emotions, it makes sense to tone down the reactive emotions to avoid melodrama. An overly emotional emotional story is just too much emotions... and so is an unemotional story told without emotions. Balance is the key.

THE MAN WHO WASN'T THERE doesn't do that - it's out of balance - the unemotional story told without emotioins. It is always outside the story, looking down on what happens from the God's eye view. Heck, it's the Coen Brothers and they are geniuses and I have almost every one of their films on by shelf... but sometimes their movies are detached... and that doesn't work well at the screenplay stage (since this is about writing). It also didn't work well for this film, which flopped hard after the success of O BROTHER. As writers we need to involve the reader (and audience) on an emotional level - even if the story is about a character who is unlikeable.

Maybe especially if the character is unlikeable.

The Coens are *filmmakers* - they don't sell their screenplays. They find the money to make their films. The screenplay sometimes doesn't matter. The company putting up the money will be more interested in the stars and the budget and all of those other things that we don't have to worry about as writers. They were coming off one of their biggest hits, and if they showed the investors scribbles on a napkin and said they were going to make a film with Billy Bob and Scarlett, someone would have written them a check. So this film is a bad example when you are looking at what you can do with your screenplay... but maybe a good example of what you shouldn't do - since it's one of the Coens biggest flops.

"Think of film noir and if you picture the story as a maze, you don't want to be hanging above the maze watching the characters make the wrong choices because it's frustrating. You actually want to be in the maze with them, making the turns at their side, that keeps it more exciting." -- Christopher Nolan.

DETATCHED OR ATTACHED?

I had a similar problem with HEIST from David Mamet, another of my favorite writers turned writer-director... and another guy who often makes movies that are a little cold around the heart. In SPANISH PRISONER and HOUSE OF GAMES Mamet created an audience identification character (emotional doorway) who is just as confused by the twists and turns of the plot as we are. We can put ourselves in her shoes, and *experience* the story. But in HEIST the protagonist is the twist-master... but we aren't let in on his twists. The doorway is closed. We are kept at arms-length from the character, at arms-length from the story, and end up just watching instead of being *involved* in what happens. The character we should be identifying with is giving us the cold shoulder!

I believe you can involve an audience either *emotionally* or (less likely) *intellectually*. One of my favorite of Mamet's films, HOUSE OF GAMES, is great at putting us inside the maze - showing us the puzzle and letting us try to figure it out. Movies like MEMENTO and EXOTICA also give us puzzles and involve us on an intellectual level. But HEIST tells us there's a puzzle but doesn't let us look at the pieces - they are all in Gene Hackman's mind, and he ain't sharing. When the twists occur they have no emotional effect on us, because they happen to characters we don't identify with - so Hackman fools Sam Rockwell? Serves Rockwell right - he's a creep. Though you might think this makes Hackman look smart and we would like him - he fools all of these creeps, right? Instead we aren't allowed any information on Hackman's "fall back plans" so they seem to come out of the blue.

WE don't get to feel as if WE'VE outsmarted Rockwell. The story is so detached the only emotions come from a shocking scene where Ricky Jay throws himself in front of a car so that Hackman can get away from the police - that scene works because the events are so big that the dispassionate approach creates contrast.

A big emotional event told in a dispassionate way.

Mamet's follow up movie SPARTAN and the Coen's follow up THE LADYKILLERS both suffered from the same problem - they're movies you *watch* rather than movies that you *experience*. That means for two hours we may be entertained on a surface level, but unlike Quaker Oatmeal, they don't stick with you for the rest of the day. You aren't emotionally involved in Tom Hanks' struggles to outwit his landlady, nor do you care much if Val Kilmer discovers what happened to the President's daughter (if that's even who she is - this film is so tight-lipped you never know who anybody is). You can be so quirky or so cool that you hold the audience at arm's length, and prevent them from becoming emotionally involved in the story. By the way, I liked SPARTAN... but I'm in the minority on that. The film only made around $4 million and I doubt it cleaned up on home video. Most people didn't seem to like it or be interested in seeing it, because most people go to the movies to "laugh and cry and kiss $12 goodbye" - they want to feel something. There are a minority (includes me) who like puzzle movies, but that's because I can *participate* by trying to solve the puzzle. I'm *involved* in the story intellectually. I can be involved emotionally or intellectually, but if your story doesn't involve me at all - if it's distant and aloof - I won't have any way to care about the outcome. It's just stuff happening that doesn't involve me.

And that's what makes a movie or books or door to door puppet show connect with the audience - they need to be involved in the story... "Attached" rather than "Detatched".

Emotionally. Maybe intellectually - but that will work for a much smaller segment of the audience. Most people don't go to the movies to think (which is a shame, but I can't change reality and neither could Mamet or the Coen Brothers).

I love the Coen Brothers and IMamet - when they get it right they hit it out of the park, but they often make movies that don't involve the audience.

My friend Joe once said something off the top of his head that are words to live by: "Movies aren't thinkies, they're feelies." Yes, there are exceptions - but most films are emotionally involving for the audience. They want to laugh and cry. They want to be scared or fall in love. Even those of us who try to escape the pain of everyday life by being cool and dispassionate go to the movies for an emotional experience. For two hours, we WANT to be involved in the story, we WANT to feel pain and joy and love and heart break... and al of the other stuff Nicole Kidman says before the films at AMC Cinemas. Don't rob us of feelings by giving us just the cold unemotional facts. Take us *inside* the story. Put us in Walter Neff's shoes when he discovers that Phyllis is cheating on him - oh, crap... is she going to double cross me? Or has she *already* double crossed me and the cops are outside that door? Even a Noir protagonist worries that the plan will backfire and he'll end up in the gas chamber... our job is to make the audience worry as well. To create emotional scenes, even if the characters seem unemotional. To make the audience feel something.

Just say no to existentialism when it comes to screenwriting.

We're writing feelies.

COMING SOON!!!

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RESEARCH & WORLD BUILDING Blue Book!

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Using movie examples like TOP GUN, HUNT FOR RED OCTOBER, BLUE CRUSH, ADVENTURE LAND, several of my produced films, JOHN WICK, the novels of Donald E. Westlake and Thomas B. Dewey, SPY KIDS, the LORD OF THE RINGS movies, SOYLENT GREEN (which takes place in the far off future of 2022), and many others we will look at researching stories and creating worlds. The 8 Types Of Research, the 10 Types Of Information To Look For, 12 Important Elements Of World Building. Plus chapters on How To Rob A Bank and Commit Murder And Get Away With It for those of you interested in crime fiction, and Researching The Future for those writing science fiction, and Levels Of Reality if you are writing about a version of the real world.

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***

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*** YOUR IDEA MACHINE *** - For Kindle!

*** YOUR IDEA MACHINE *** - For Nook!

Expanded version with more ways to find great ideas! Your screenplay is going to begin with an idea. There are good ideas and bad ideas and commercial ideas and personal ideas. But where do you find ideas in the first place? This handbook explores different methods for finding or generating ideas, and combining those ideas into concepts that sell. The Idea Bank, Fifteen Places To Find Ideas, Good Ideas And Bad Ideas, Ideas From Locations And Elements, Keeping Track Of Your Ideas, Idea Theft - What Can You Do? Weird Ways To Connect Ideas, Combing Ideas To Create Concepts, High Concepts - What Are They? Creating The Killer Concept, Substitution - Lion Tamers & Hitmen, Creating Blockbuster Concepts, Magnification And The Matrix, Conflict Within Concept, Concepts With Visual Conflict, Avoiding Episodic Concepts, much more! Print version is 48 pages, Kindle version is over 175 pages!

Only $4.99 - and no postage!

PRO DIALOGUE TECHNIQUES!

*** DIALOGUE SECRETS *** - For Kindle!

*** DIALOGUE SECRETS *** - For Nook!

Expanded version with more ways to create interesting dialogue! How to remove bad dialogue (and what *is* bad dialogue), First Hand Dialogue, Awful Exposition, Realism, 50 Professional Dialogue Techniques you can use *today*, Subtext, Subtitles, Humor, Sizzling Banter, *Anti-Dialogue*, Speeches, and more. Tools you can use to make your dialogue sizzle! Special sections that use dialogue examples from movies as diverse as "Bringing Up Baby", "Psycho", "Double Indemnity", "Notorious", the Oscar nominated "You Can Count On Me", "His Girl Friday", and many more! Print version is 48 pages, Kindle version is over 175 pages!

Only $4.99 - and no postage!

FINAL DRAFT SOFTWARE

Use your creative energy to focus on the content; let Final Draft take care of the style. Final Draft is the number-one selling application specifically designed for writing movie scripts, television episodics and stage plays. Its ease-of-use and time-saving features have attracted writers for almost two decades positioning Final Draft as the Professional Screenwriters Choice. Final Draft power users include Academy, Emmy and BAFTA award winning writers like Oliver Stone, Tom Hanks, Alan Ball, J.J. Abrams, James Cameron and more. * * * Buy It!

copyright 2023 by William C. Martell