TUESDAY'S BIZ TIP:
PROJECTORS
I have a friend who has been writing scripts for the past five years without much
success. He had seen a bunch of really bad movies, realized he could write better than
that, and began turning out scripts. He expected a sale from the first producer or agent
he sent a script to... and five years later is an angry, bitter, frustrated writer. After a
couple of years of rejections, he decided that audiences LIKE crap, so he's just going to
write crap. He thought he would instantly sell his crappy scripts... but that didn't work
either. He became even more bitter, more frustrated by the business. He is so angry,
he's uncomfortable to be around. When we have coffee, he does nothing but rant about
how much he hates Hollywood and hates Hollywood movies... but he's still writing
scripts, trying to break in.
Last time we had coffee he told me about his new script. It's a crass, commercial teen
comedy filled with bodily fluid jokes... with some shocking twists. His characters are
mean spirited, they do nasty things, and he described scenes where the nicest
characters in the script are subjected to cruel random acts of senseless violence. The
script "craps on the audience" - it treats them with anger and contempt. After pitching
me this story, he asked me what I thought... and I stumbled for an answer.
I told him I didn't think it would sell. People don't go to the movies for abuse (that's next
door), they want to be entertained or maybe enlightened. The problem is, his personal
attitude is coming through on the page. His stories reflect his anger and frustration and
bitterness. No one wants to be paid $10 to be crapped on... or $250k for a script that
craps on them.
People who write teen comedies usually do it because they *love* teen comedies -
they are writing the type of movies they regularly pay to see. I remember reading an
interview with Adam Herz who wrote AMERICAN PIE (which was sold under the title UNTITLED
TEENAGE SEX COMEDY THAT CAN BE MADE FOR UNDER $10 MILLION THAT MOST READERS WILL PROBABLY
HATE BUT I THINK YOU WILL LOVE). He explained
why he wrote the script: he and his manager had been discussing movies, and both had
fond memories of PORKYS, and missed those R rated teen movies of their youth. His manager
thought that if the two of them would pay to see a movie like PORKYS today, maybe a bunch
of other people might... and encouraged him to write a script. That script sold for $750k and
spawned a couple of sequels and a whole bunch of imitators and now a successful string of direct to DVD movies.
As a guy who writes action films, I can tell you I don't do it because I think it'll be
a fast buck. I write the same kind of movies I pay to see. I love action movies. Though I'd
rather be writing the next DIE HARD, I'm also a fan of those low budget, down and dirty action
flicks like THREE THE HARD WAY (one of my favorites) and GOOD GUYS WEAR BLACK and car wreck
movies like CANNONBALL* (I saw that one at the Pleasant Hill Motor
Movies... which is now a Safeway grocery store... I lost my virginity in the frozen food
section). So writing "exploitation" action movies is still something I can put my heart into. I'm
still writing the kinds of movies I love to see (maybe not the ones I'd admit to
liking in public, though). If Chuck Norris ever makes another movie,
I'll probably see it. If he's smart, he'll make a sequel to his best film,
CODE OF SILENCE...
A big part of the screenwriting biz is: You've gotta love movies. Today's movies. The
ones that are playing in the cinema right now. And you have to want to write those movies.
You can't "fake it" any more than you can fake love in a long term relationship. Your
partner will eventually see through you, and you'll be miserable every day until they do.
Whether you know it or not, you project your attitude on the page. Your choice of
material and the way you present it are going to be influenced by your current emotional
state. If you are desperate, your script will scream desperation. If you are angry, no
matter how hard you try to hide it that will show up on the page. We are our
screenplays, and our screenplays are us. We can use this to our advantage by
exploring the issues and emotions that haunt us, or this can be a disadvantage if we
are filled with anger and bitterness and self loathing and just want to strike out at
others. If you can find a way to HARNESS that anger to create a story that ISN'T angry
at the audience or the business, you can create an entertaining story that explores (and
exorcizes) your emotions. NETWORK is a movie that is angry at the TV business (note
it's not a TV show angry at TV, nor is it a movie angry at the film business) and it appeals
to the AUDIENCE'S anger and frustration. NETWORK isn't a movie that is mad at the
audience, it's a movie that allows the audience to open their windows and yell "I'm mad
as hell, and I'm not going to take it anymore!" The movie FALLING DOWN is great
when it allows the audience to vent their rage at a world where you can't order an Egg
McMuffin after 10:30am, but stumbles when it tries to turn the audience identification
character into a crazed lunatic killer. That craps on us... and that's why that film didn't
become a huge box office hit. If you dislike yourself,
you'll probably dislike your protagonist, and the audience will know that you dislike
them.
You are your script!
I'm not saying "Don't worry, be happy", but I a saying you can't get revenge against
producers and the audience by writing a script that insults and abuses them... and then
expect them to buy it. If you are angry at the business, you should just step away and
calm down. Get yourself under control before you unleash yourself on the world.
Remember that your scripts project your attitude - do you really want to see a bad
attitude on the big screen?
If you're a movie lover, make sure that love is on every page of your script.
*not CANNONBALL RUN, the original CANNONBALL starring David Carradine.
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