WEDNESDAY'S SCRIPT TIP:
DUMBEST GUY IN THE ROOM
How many horror films have we seen where the teens think there may be a crazed killer
hiding in a dark house... so they go to investigate? How many times have those same
teens not locked the door or not grabed a weapon or not phoned the police... things that
anyone with an IQ over 50 would have done in a heartbeat? Do you respect any of
these characters? Do you care about them? Or are they so dumb you figure they're
getting what they deserve? I find it hard to care about really stupid characters. I'm not
talking about Forest Gump or Chance The Gardner, they follow their hearts and do
really smart things that I wish I had the guts to do, I'm talking about characters who do
dumb things... usually to help the plot. Those characters insult the audience.
With THE LONE RANGER starting production, I
thought it'd be perfect timing to look at the last Weird Western to hit movie screens that did not involve aliens, Ron Howard's THE MISSING - a strange mix of horror and western genres. I don't think we've
seen a horror-western since BILLY THE KID VS DRACULA back in 1966. I was hoping
THE MISSING would be a hit because *I* have a horror-western called DESERT OF
BLOOD about the ghost of massacred Indians who get their revenge, but despite a
great cast and a really spooky first act, THE MISSING is a mis-fire...
Why didn't it connect with the audience in the theaters? I suspect because the characters did really
stupid things, and we lost respect for them.
THE MISSING is about a widow (Cate Blanchett) raising her two daughters in the
rugged west. When her oldest daughter (Evan Rachel Wood) is kidnaped by an evil Indian witch (Eric Schweig),
she turns to her estranged father (Tommy Lee Jones) for help. Jones skipped out on
the family years ago and has lived among the Indians, working as a tracker and game
hunter. He instantly discovers that the Evil Indian (probably the ugliest guy you've ever
seen on screen) is a white slaver who kidnaps young women and takes them across
the border to sell them (because everybody knows Mexicans want to rape white
women). Even if you didn't find that plot offensive, you'll probably have trouble with
what happens next...
Jones, Blanchett and youngest daughter (Jenna Boyd - the best thing in the movie) ride to the
rescue, and stumble across the Cavalry, lead by Val Kilmer. When they tell Kilmer
exactly where the Evil Indian is going and ask for help, Kilmer tells them that although
his mission is to capture the Evil Indian, his orders are to look in the exact opposite
direction so he'll be unable to help them. Is Kilmer stupid? He could fulfil his mission
and be a hero if he ignored these silly orders. And Kilmer's character is shown to be a
stickler for orders - his men are looting the house of a massacred family as he tells
Jones and Blanchett this. What we have here is a character who does a stupid thing in
order to help the plot. If Kilmer and the Cavalry decided to help Blanchett and Jones
they could easily capture the Evil Indian and save Evan Rachel Wood... and the movie would be over.
DUMB CHARACTERS
One question I kept asking myself throughout the movie was: Why rescue Evan Rachel Wood in the first
place? She's introduced as a vain, stupid character who is obsessed with fashion...
even though she lives on a ranch in the middle of nowhere. When she and hunky ranch
hand (Aaron Eckhart) go out to brand cattle, she dresses as if she's going to a party.
She's a difficult character to care about, and when you find out the circumstances
surrounding her kidnap by the Evil Indian they're a lot like those dopey teens who
wander into the house because they heard there was a crazed killer living there.
Once captured she manages to do one ill-advised thing after another. If I were ever
captured by an Evil Indian I wouldn't complain so much that he begins to consider killing
you and finding another young white woman to kidnap in your place. It's one thing for
Holly McClain to moth off to Hans Gruber - she is the leader of the hostages and if
Hans wants to keep the hostages under control he must deal with her... But when you
complain in excess of your value you are pushing your luck. Evan Rachel Wood keeps pushing her luck
with the Evil Indian, and you begin to wonder why he doesn't just kill her... and why she
never realizes that he could easily kill her.
DUMB ANTAGONIST
Which brings us to the Evil Indian - the dumbest character in the movie. Hitchcock said
the better the villain the better the movie, and I think that also means the dumber the
villain the dumber the movie. In this case, we've got a pretty dumb movie.
For reasons never explained the Evil Indian kidnaps a photographer and forces him to
document the entire white slavery / killing and looting spree. There's photographic
evidence of all of the bad things the Evil Indian and his band of Other Evil Dudes have
done! Now, anyone who watches The Tonight Show on Monday nights has laughed at
the Headlines stories about stupid criminals who videotape their crimes and leave the
tape where the police can find it. Smart criminals don't videotape their crimes.
So we already think the Evil Indian is a moron because he's had this photographer
document his crime spree... then the Evil Indian wigs out and kills the photographer for
no apparent reason, and leaves behind all of the photos.
Of course, Jones and Blanchett find the dead photographer and all of the photos and
this helps them find the Evil Indian.
But wait, you say, the Evil Indian is days ahead of them! How can an old dude, a
woman and a kid who constantly has to stop and rest possibly catch up with him?
Did I mention this villain was stupid?
After the kidnaped daughter does something incredibly stupid that results in the death
of one of the other kidnaped girls (Elizabeth Moss, who plays the President's daughter on
WEST WING), the Evil Indian decides to hang around and kidnap a replacement. Why?
Because he wants to sell *exactly* seven women. The excuse given for this arbitrary
number is that the Evil Indian is superstitious, but it sure makes it easier for Jones and
Blanchett to catch up with them.
Later in the film the Evil Indian casts a spell on Blanchett which leaves her fevered and
unable to ride. Jones, Blanchett and Boyd make camp for several days until the fever
breaks. Do you think the Evil Indian uses this to his advantage and takes his kidnaped
girls across the border to Mexico to sell them? Nope. We're told early on that if he gets
Evan Rachel Wood across the border, they will never be able to find her. This has been the driving force
that has kept them riding, the reason why they had to go instead of waiting for the
cavalry to get new orders. So now our heroes are forced to stop while Blanchett
recovers, and the Evil Indian is less than a day's ride from the border...
And the Evil Indian decides to change his plans and NOT go across the border, but ride
across the border with is best men to get the Mexican buyers and bring them back to
his camp. At this point in the story the Evil Indian KNOWS he's being pursued by Jones
and Blanchett (that's why he cast the spell on her)... but he changes his plan to make it
easier for them to catch him! Why would he do that? No reason is ever given - it's just
something dumb the villain does that makes it easier for the heroes to catch up with
him. How stupid can you get?
STUPID GOOD GUYS
Oh, I should mention that spell on Cate Blanchett. How did the Evil Indian cast a spell
on her? Well, after being told that they can't let the Evil Indian find a single strand of
their hair, because he can use that to cast a spell on them, they leave a hairbrush
behind. When this happens, you want to yell at the screen. After being warned of this
very thing, they do it anyway? How stupid are these people?
While the Evil Indian and his best men are away from camp to get the buyers from
Mexico, Jones decides to rescue the daughter with some help from an Indian friend.
So here's the scenario: The daughter is bound and gagged in a cave with the other
kidnaped girls. She is not comfortable and has not been treated well. A stranger sneaks
into the cave, puts his finger to his lips - the bad guys are outside, cuts the ropes
binding her, removes the gag from her mouth, gestures for her to quietly follow him.
She is free! If you were the daughter, what would you do?
The daughter screams at the top of her lungs. Alerting the other bad guys who come in
and kill her rescuer, rebind and gag the daughter.
I can't figure out why she would do that, except to create a situation where Blanchett is
left without any help and must go in and rescue her daughter alone. Even if the person
rescuing you is a complete stranger, you don't scream at the top of your lungs - that's
just stupid!
WHY ARE THEY SO DUMB?
Instead of making the characters CLEVER enough to figure out solutions to the
problems, the writer made the characters so stupid that any moron could solve the
problems. It's easier to have characters make stupid mistakes to make plotting easier
than it is to think through the back-and-forth of plot. The protagonist isn't the one who
creates problems for the antagonist, the antagonist isn't the one creating problems for
the protagonist -so each ends up doing something stupid to create their own problems.
Instead of USING Tommy Lee Jones' tracking skills to find the Evil Indian, the Evil
Indian leaves behind a dead photographer and a ton of evidence. Instead of having the
Evil Indian be smart enough to create a trap for anyone who tries to rescue the women,
the daughter screams when she's rescued which alerts the bad guys. Instead of a
scene where the Evil Indian grabs Cate Blanchett and she fights him and escapes...
leaving him with only a handful of her hair (which he uses to cast his spell), they leave
behind a hairbrush after being warned of the dangers.
Make sure that the protagonist and antagonist are on a collision course, and each
character's set backs are a result of cause and effect in the struggle between them.
Always do the work and show the work - have your characters use their skills to solve
the problems. Don't paint yourself into a corner - instead of looking for impossible
situations to escape from, look for the SOLUTIONS to problems that seem impossible.
That way you have both the tough situation and the way out. Make your characters
resolve conflicts because they are clever and hard working - admirable traits - instead
of having the problem solved because the person they're tangling with makes a dumb
mistake.
Film is a fantasy. We want to wish we were the characters up there on screen.
Audiences love clever characters... not stupid characters. Who wishes they were
stupid? Who fantasizes about being so dumb they keep getting into trouble? If I hear a
strange noise from downstairs and I think it may be a crazed killer, I find something to
use as a weapon and lock my door!
If you have to make your protagonist *or* antagonist do something stupid to make your plot work,
you're better off fixing your plot.
FAQ
FINALLY!
*** THE SECRETS OF ACTION SCREENWRITING *** - For Kindle!
*** THE SECRETS OF ACTION SCREENWRITING *** - For Nook!
Why pay $510 for a used version of the 240 page 2000 version that used to retail for $21.95? (check it out!) when
you can get the NEW EXPANDED VERSION - over 500 pages - for just $9.99? New chapters, New examples, New techniques!
"SECRETS OF ACTION SCREENWRITING is the
best book on the practical nuts-and-bolts mechanics of writing a screenplay I've ever read."
- Ted Elliott, co-writer of MASK OF ZORRO, SHREK, PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN and the sequels (with Terry Rossio). (ie; 4 of the top 20 Box Office Hits Of ALL TIME.)
Only $9.99 - and no postage!
MY BLOG!
SCRIPT SECRETS STORE - Do you have a monkey mug yet?
NEW CLASS!
NOIR & MYSTERY80 minute CD packed with information on writing Film Noir and Mystery scripts. Using examples from CHINATOWN to OUT OF THE PAST to DOUBLE INDEMNITY you'll learn how to create stories in this dark, twisted genre. How to plant clues, red herrings, suspects, victims, spider women, fallen heroes, the funhouse mirror world of noir supporting characters... and the origins of Film Noir in literature Noir dialogue and how noir endings are different than any other genre. All of the critical elements necessary to write in this critically popular genre.
The Noir & Mystery Class is only $15 (plus $5 S&H). First 20 on Limited Black Disk!
RECESSION SALE! $5 OFF!
IDEAS AND CREATIVITY - 80 minute CD packed with information. Tools to find ideas that are both personal *and* commercial. Hollywood wants scripts with High Concept stories... but not stupid scripts. Developing *intelligent* high concept ideas. How to turn your personal story into a blockbuster - or find your personal story in a high concept idea. Brainstorming and being creative. Ideas and Creativity is $10.00 (plus $5 S&H)
WRITING INDIES - Writing an Indie film? This class covers everything you need to know - from Central Locations to Confined Cameos. Using examples from SWINGERS, THE COOLER, STATION AGENT and others, this 80 minute CD is packed with information. How Indoe films challenge the audience (while mainstream films reassure the audience). Structures, using BOYS DON'T CRY, RUN LOLA RUN, HILARY & JACKIE, and others as example. Writing for a budget, writing for non-actors, getting the most production value out of your budget. Writing Indies is $10.00 (plus $5 S&H)
WRITING HORROR - The essentials of a horror screenplay - what do ROSEMARY'S BABY, NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD, THE EXORCIST, BRIDE OF FRANKENSTEIN, THE OTHERS and OPEN WATER have in common? This class will tell you! All of the critical elements necessary to write a script that scares the pants off the audience. Writing Horror is $10.00 (plus $5 S&H).
Click here for more information on CLASS CDs!
NEW!
*** YOUR IDEA MACHINE *** - For Kindle!
*** YOUR IDEA MACHINE *** - For Nook!
Expanded version with more ways to find great ideas! Print version is 48 pages, Kindle version is around 155 pages!
Only $2.99 - and no postage!
NEW!
*** CREATING STRONG PROTAGONISTS *** - For Kindle!
*** CREATING STRONG PROTAGONISTS *** - For Nook!
Expanded version with more ways to create interesting protagonists! Print version is 48 pages, Kindle version is once again around 155 pages!
Only $2.99 - and no postage!
NEW!
*** DIALOGUE SECRETS *** - For Kindle!
*** DIALOGUE SECRETS *** - For Nook!
Expanded version with more ways to create interesting protagonists! Print version is 48 pages, Kindle version is almost *200* pages!
Only $2.99 - and no postage!
Use your creative energy to focus on the content; let Final Draft take care of the style. Final Draft is the number-one selling application specifically designed for writing movie scripts, television episodics and stage plays. Its ease-of-use and time-saving features have attracted writers for almost two decades positioning Final Draft as the Professional Screenwriters Choice. Final Draft power users include Academy, Emmy and BAFTA award winning writers like Oliver Stone, Tom Hanks, Alan Ball, J.J. Abrams, James Cameron and more.
* * * Buy It!
|
