WEDNESDAY'S SCRIPT TIP:

STRANGE DEVICES

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The difference between a good script and a great one is in the details, and with Producers wading through 75,000 *new* spec scripts a year, your script better be GREAT. The way to make your script jump to the top of the pile is to give the audience something extra... A neat idea or device they haven't seen before. Something to talk about, after the film is over and the credits are rolling. Something that makes your script unlike the other 74,999 in the pile. Something special and unique.

Back in my community college film appreciation class they screened a short film by local success story Paul Kyriazi, I think called THE TOURNAMENT. It was a martial arts chase film, and the hero takes a lot of punches in the film, but waits until the end to dish one out... and what a punch it is! He punches *through* a bad guy's chest - popping out a plug of flesh. The bad guy looks down - and there's a hole clean through him! You can see the sky! Then he falls onto the grass, dead, and the grass comes through the hole! This impressed me - how the heck did Paul do that? Paul's films were always filled with amazing cinema tricks... and that made them cool and different.

Clever teen comedy EASY A opens with our leading lady Olive (Emma Stone) doing a video blog confession about how she became a marked woman in her high school - how she went from being a drab Olive to the campus slut. Then she holds up a hand lettered title card for the first "chapter" of her video blog story... and we go to film (kind of like THE WIZARD OF OZ going to color) to see her story unfold. This allows her to use voice over here and there, and the chapters help shape the story. Several times within the film (I think a total of five) we go back to Olive making her video blog, and giving us the next title card for the next "chapter" of her story. These chapter titles often create suspense - if the chapter title is about how she breaks up a marriage, we wonder whose marriage that will be. Her parents? This device is also cool - the video blog completely fits in our texting age and by the end of the film we discover this wasn't just a gimmick, but part of the story - the video blog is a critical part of the resolution. EASY A also features a cool way of showing how rumors spread in our texting age... another great story-telling device used in the screenplay. The film is clever and funny and has plenty of heart - and the script was on the Black List a couple of years ago.

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One of the things I liked about that Zak Penn's reboot of THE INCREDIBLE HULK (2008) were the subtitles that told us how many days Bruce Banner has gone without an anger incident - like those workplace signs that brag about how many days without an accident. The first time we get the title, it's amusing... but when they continue using it throughout the film, it becomes that something extra - a device that makes this film different than any other and tells us something about Banner's character at this point in the story. Is he in control? Feeling guilty about losing control? Or waking up from an incident where he has lost control, and maybe done something terrible?



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In THREE KINGS the characters talk about how sepsis is the real killer on the battlefield - a bullet nicks an internal organ like the liver and the infection that results kills the soldier. Battlefields are not a very clean environment. Once we hear this, we become paranoid that one of our heroes will get shot... and die of infection. So when they *do* get shot, we get this cool *internal* shot - almost an ex-ray - of the bullet entering the body... will it nick an organ? Or miss? Every time someone important to the story is shot, we get to follow the path of the bullet once it is *inside* their body - that's something I had never seen before in a movie! It was cool (though kinda gross) and gave us story information we usually don't have access to in a movie. It also creates suspense, because we know *eventually* someone will have an organ nicked and it sepsis will set in... and they will die without *immediate* mediacl attention.

REQUIEM FOR A DREAM has a great device that *shows us* what that cocaine rush feels like - a series of quick, frantic cuts that end with a long, slow shot... Ahhhh. Here's that sequence:

They use this device throughout the movie... and it's so cool, THE SIMPSONS parodied it in an episode where Homer gets addicted to Crusty McRib sandwiches... offered for a limited time only.

RUN LOLA RUN has a great device - when Lola bumps into someone on her run, we see a little montage of stills from their future - and how Lola's impact changes what happens to them. This is one of my favorite parts of this great film - because Lola bumps into these people three times during the film, and each time she bumps into them in a different way - and their lives turn out completely different each time! This is more than just a cool device - it shows how our lives affect others and how just a second's difference in when Lola bumps into these people can have a completely different outcome. This is what the film is about - Lola gets three chances to save her boyfriend from being killed by mobsters - and each time she tries something different and there is a different outcome. After each failure, the film resets and she gets another chance. The device is not just something extra - it helps tell the story.

MY OWN DEVICES

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I've used devices like these in several screenplays, and I'm thinking about doing it more often. They can be a great "something extra" and also add to the story. In my RIPTIDES script there was a twist end, and while making sure the twist was set up, I came up with a cool idea - what if when we came to the twist end, I zipped back - like a VCR on scan-rewind - zipping back through the film, then pausing to show a snippet of film ... before zipping back to the next moment. And the zipping back ends with a line of dialogue from early in the film... that can be taken two ways. You realize that what you thought it meant at the time was wrong - and it was actually an obvious set up for everything that follows. If we'd only realized there was a double meaning at the time...

In my rewrite of THE DIVISION I wanted to show the proximity of each character to another, so I added Google Maps. Now when we move from one neighborhood to another, we zoom up to an overhead - turn into a Google Map, move with those little control arrows to our next location in the map, then we zoom down to a car or a character or a house at that location. I have plans to do this a handful of times in the rewrite - not too many or it will wear out its welcome. But when it's important to know the proximity of two locations, I'm using the device.

When I was doing the second draft of my script that was supposed to shoot a couple of years ago (at this time) in Hawaii, I had a note from the director to give the female lead more personality. One of the problems with lead characters is that they often get short shrift when it comes to personality - the supporting characters are quirky and cool, but the leads are just leads. In this case, I had a female lead who was, well, intelligent and pretty... but where I had been brutal with the supporting characters - giving each of them a strange quirk that turned them into societal outsiders - she was "normal". So I decided to backtrack - start at where her character ended up and figure out what kind of traits would be the opposite of that. Well, this is a funny monster movie, and she ends up hiding from the monster in a big pile of monster poop. When the monster comes sniffing around, it can't smell her in the poop. Okay - what kind of person would be least likely to end up in poop? Well, someone who didn't want to get dirty... someone germiphobic. That played against her occupation as a scientist working in the field. So I gave her a jumbo sized container of Purel and made her very conscious of what she touched. This would be a quirky, interesting character trait for an actress to play... and makes hiding in that big pile of monster poop a major character decision. There's a scene early on where the Male Lead and Female Lead meet and shake hands, and those sparks of attraction fly... and now, immediately afterwards she *bathes* her hands in sanitizer. Then explains, "Sorry, I don't know where your hands have been." And that gave me a great idea for a something extra device...

***


After they shake, she immediately pulls out her hand sanitizer.

			DR. JENNIFER
	Nothing personal.  I just don't know 
	where your hands have been.

MONTAGE: WHERE MARK'S HAND HAS BEEN

1) POLICE STATION: Coffee pours on his hand. 
2) POLICE STATION: Donut sprinkles on his hand. 
3) BEHIND MARK'S HOME: Taking out the garbage.  
4) LOVER'S LANE: Touching the muddy footprints. 
5) LOVER'S LANE: Shaking hands with Bud.

MONTAGE: WHERE BUD'S HAND HAS BEEN

1) LOVER'S LANE: Hooking up George's car. 
2) TOW TRUCK: Bud picks his nose. 
3) GARAGE: Bud changing oil - filthy hands. 
4) GARAGE: Bud's finger in a filthy radiator. 
5) GARAGE: Bud eats greasy food - all over his hands. 

EXT. COUNTRY ROADS -- DAY

Mark looks down at his hand.  

***

The great thing about this device is that the theme of the script is that everything in the world is connected in nature - every species is dependant on every other species to survive. We may not know why some bug is important to our survival, but it's all kind of a house of cards, and remove one species and that may throw everything else out of wack... and create a monster (like the one they are battling). And the solution to the problem is that all of these quirky loners who live out here in the sticks because they don't really want to be part of society must come together and help each other out. So "Who have you touched?" becomes a big part of the story, leading to the final time I use the device - which links all of the characters in the story together...

***


John grabs Dr. Jennifer's hand... and she takes it.

WHERE JOHN'S HAND HAS BEEN

1) JOHN'S HOUSE: John plays with his high school game ball. 
2) OLD TOWN: John shakes and hugs KIMO.  
3) KIMO'S BACK YARD: Kimo's hand on his MOTHER's shoulder. 
4) GARDEN: Kimo's MOTHER hands a flower to a child - GARY. 
5) LINDA'S YARD: Gary gives Linda the flower. 
6) BUD'S GARAGE: Bud gives Linda her car keys. 
7) OLD TOWN: Bud shakes hands with Oba. 
8) OBA'S SHRINE: Oba lights incense, prays.  
9) HOWARD'S STORE: Oba buys incense from Howard. 
10) GARDEN: Howard gives a hearty hand shake to George. 
11) GEORGE'S CAR: George puts a CD in his boom box.  
12) NIGHT CLUB: Linda plays her guitar, Ellen listens. 
13) ELLEN'S HOME: Ellen hugs her FATHER, holds him close.

Everyone is part of the community - everyone is connected. 

INT. MERCY CHURCH -- DAY

Dr. Jennifer grabs Ellen's hand. 

***

Too bad I will never get to see any of that on screen.

The key to using a device is to make sure that it isn't just some gimmick you're throwing in to the story - that, like RUN LOLA RUN and EASY A and INCREDIBLE HULK, it's an important part of the story. Knowing how long Bruce Banner has gone without an anger episode is critical to understanding both his character at that point in the story and the story itself. Devices like this are used to *better* tell the story, as well as make it unique. How you tell the story is as important as the story you chose to tell. Using an interesting and unique device once in a while may be just what your screenplay needs.


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The First Ten Pages Of Your Screenplay Are Critical,
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All About LOGLINES, TREATMENTS, and PITCHING!

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LOGLINES, TREATMENTS, and PITCHING! Blue Book!

Distilling Your Screenplay!

Loglines, Treatments, Pitching, Look Books, Pitch Decks, One Pagers, Rip-O-Matics?

You have written a brilliant 110 page screenplay, but how do you get anyone to read it? You need to distill it down into some form of verbal moonshine or story rocket fuel that will ignite that bored development executive or manager or agent and get them to request your screenplay. But how do you shrink those 110 pages into a 25 word logline or a 2 minute elevator pitch or a one page synopsis or a short paragraph? This 100,000 word book shows you how! Everything you need to know! From common logline mistakes (and how to solve them) to how your pitch can reveal story problems to the 4 types of pitches!

272 Pages - ONLY $4.99!


READY TO BREAK IN? bluebook

THE BUISINESS SIDE

*** BREAKING IN BLUE BOOK *** - For Kindle!


Should really be called the BUSINESS BLUE BOOK because it covers almost everything you will need to know for your screenwriting career: from thinking like a producer and learning to speak their language, to query letters and finding a manager or agent, to making connections (at home and in Hollywood) and networking, to the different kinds of meetings you are will have at Studios, to the difference between a producer and a studio, to landing an assignment at that meeting and what is required of you when you are working under contract, to contracts and options and lawyers and... when to run from a deal! Information you can use *now* to move your career forward! It's all here in the Biggest Blue Book yet!

Print version was 48 pages, Kindle version is over 400 pages!

$4.99 - and no postage!




hcd

FINAL DRAFT SOFTWARE

Use your creative energy to focus on the content; let Final Draft take care of the style. Final Draft is the number-one selling application specifically designed for writing movie scripts, television episodics and stage plays. Its ease-of-use and time-saving features have attracted writers for almost two decades positioning Final Draft as the Professional Screenwriters Choice. Final Draft power users include Academy, Emmy and BAFTA award winning writers like Oliver Stone, Tom Hanks, Alan Ball, J.J. Abrams, James Cameron and more. * * * Buy It!

copyright 2022 by William C. Martell


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SECRETS OF ACTION SCREENWRITING

bluebook IT'S BACK! SECRETS OF ACTION SCREENWRITING
Over 460 pages packed with tips and techniques. How to write a plot twist, the four kinds of suspense (and how to create it), reversals, ten ways to invent new action scenes, secrets and lies, creating the ultimate villain, five kinds of love interests, MORE! CLICK HERE!

CLASSES ON MP3

Class MP3s CLASSES ON MP3! Take a class on MP3! GUERRILLA MARKETING - NO AGENT? NO PROBLEM! and WRITING THRILLERS (2 MP3s). Full length classes on MP3. Now Available: IDEAS & CREATIVITY, WRITING HORROR, WRITING INDIE FILMS, more!
Take classes on MP3!

MY OTHER SITES

B MOVIE WORLD
Cult Films, Exploitation, Bikers & Women In Prison, Monster Movies.

FIRST STRIKE PRODUCTIONS
Producing my own scripts, investment possibilities, pipe dreams.

NAKED SCREENWRITING MP3s

Naked Class The NAKED SCREENWRITING CLASS ON MP3! The 2001 London Class on 8 MP3s! Recorded *live* the morning after the Raindance Film Festival wrapped. The two day class on 8CD worth, plus a workbook, plus a bonus CD.
The 2 Day Class on MP3!

ONLINE CLASSES
Furious Action Class
BILL'S CORNER

My nineteen produced films, interviews with me in magazines, several sample scripts, my available scripts list... And MORE!
...............................BILL'S CORNER


Available Scripts

E BOOKS PAGE

bluebook E BOOKS: New Blue Books and Novelettes!
I am expanding all of the Blue Books from around 44 pages of text to around 200 pages! Some are over 250 pages! See what is availabale and what is coming soon!Also, I've been writing Novelletes and there will soon be novels.
E BOOKS: BLUE BOOKS & NOVELLETES

BOOKLETS & PRODUCTS

bluebook FIRST STRIKE BLUE BOOKS
Each Blue Book is 48 pages and focuses on a different aspect of screenwriting. Dialogue. Visual Storytelling. Your First Ten Pages. Act 2 Booster. Protagonists. Great Endings.
Seventeen Blue Books now available!

THE SECRETS OF ACTION SCREENWRITING OUT OF PRINT!